Scared
by RoxiWright
Summary: Currently a one shot. Jane and Maura deal with the emotional fall out from the kidnapping.


**I own nothing please enjoy**

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Curled up on Maura's couch Jane felt comfortable but not settled. She looked at the strawberry blonde sitting next to her curled under the same blanket. The fear, the pain, the anguish was obvious in her expression. She had been so scared and when she looked at Maura she saw concern and compassion and understanding. But she didn't want to talk about it. She was supposed to be strong and fearless if not for her own sake then for Maura's. So she did the only thing she could think of in that moment.

She deflected. She took a sip of her beer and she made a careless casual joke as if she hadn't just been kidnapped and sexually assaulted, as if it wasn't another traumatizing moment in her already traumatic life.

Maura seemed to except it and let the banter happen. But when the silence came again Jane stared down at the cover, she gripped it tightly and spoke softly. "I was so scared." Jane finally admitted.

"I know." Maura said softly reaching out to touch the woman. She needed to touch her. For her own sanity, she needed to know that Jane was there and safe. "I was too."

Jane looked up at the medical examiner. "Can I stay here tonight? I don't…" she frowned. "I don't want to be alone and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to sleep in my own bedroom ever again." Jane admitted there was a tremble in her usually confident voice.

"You can stay as long as you need. I would prefer it even." Maura replied. "Maybe you could even sleep in my bedroom with me." she tried not to sound so hopeful.

"I would like that." Jane nodded but she went back to her silence unsure of what to say.

Maura could feel her head spinning with all of the words she wanted to say but couldn't. _I love you. I never want to see you hurting like that ever again. There was nothing I could do but watch. They wouldn't even let me go with them to help you. I wasn't there to hold you in my arms and tell you it was okay. Jane. _She set the bottle of wine aside. The silence felt heavy with the words that neither of them were ready to speak.

"We should go to bed." Jane said after a long while.

"Do you need a shower? I'm sure you have some clothes here still." Maura said quickly latching onto any form of conversation. "I mean… of course you want a shower. I'll just go get those clothes and a fresh towel." Maura switched to panicked hostess mode unsure of what else to do.

"Relax Maur, I'll be fine." Jane said though she still sounded shaky. "Go lay down. You seem like you need it. And I'll come in after I'm done in the shower."

Maura nodded but that didn't stop her from putting up a fresh towel and putting sleep clothes out for Jane.

Jane was grateful for the shower. She turned the water up to as hot as she could stand and scrubbed at her skin. She hadn't been raped but she had still been violated and she felt like she needed to scrub off any reminders. She let the water rush over hers and when it no longer felt so hot, she collapsed against the wall of the shower and she cried. It was an awful heart wrenching sound, she hadn't felt the need to cry like that since her very last encounter with Hoyt where she'd admittedly been more worried about Maura's safety than her own. She knew Maura could hear her. _Oh god. God why is this all happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? _

Maura could hear the uncontrollable sobbing but just as she had done the last time the awful sound had reached her ears she simply let the detective grieve. She preserved the woman's dignity by walking away even though more than anything she wanted to go in there and pull her into her arms and whisper sweet words of comfort until the brunette simply fell asleep.

When Jane felt like she couldn't cry any longer and like all of the days filth had been scrubbed away she turned off the water. She burrowed into one of Maura's soft towels that was hanging up and stared at the clothes that were folded and lying on the sink. She smiled softly.

When she finished dressing and felt slightly more relaxed and refreshed she walked towards Maura's bedroom. She'd only been there a few times but she'd never slept there. typically if they shared a bed in Maura's house it was the one in the guest bedroom.

Maura was already in bed her eyes were closed and she looked like she was at least resting even if not particularly at peace.

"Are you asleep?" Jane asked softly. _I hope she isn't If only so I can talk to her until I can fall asleep._

"Who could sleep?" Maura sighed and opened her eyes.

Jane crawled into bed. "You were scared too." she stated easily.

"Of course I was scared. I couldn't help you. I just had to sit there and watch you. I had to watch him touch you and I had to watch him almost hurt you. I had to…" Maura frowned. "They wouldn't even let me come get you. They made me wait." Maura couldn't stop once she started everything she'd wanted to say earlier was spilling out of her. "They made me wait and watch and just hope that they found you in time. Do you have any idea how hard it was to watch the woman I'm in love with be tied to a bed and assaulted and I couldn't…"I hit her quite suddenly that she'd admitted to being in love with the detective.

Jane didn't know what to say at the admission so she remained silent but she gave Maura an encouraging nod.

"But you're the one that was attacked." Maura said quietly choosing not to fully acknowledge her slip up. "You were the one that had to endure that. And it wasn't the first time that you've been held against your will. And I want you to trust me. To tell me what it was like for you but…I don't know how to tell you all of that."

"Except you just did," Jane said softly. "You told me exactly how you feel and I do trust you Maura. I trust you so much. And I…" she paused. "I love you too." she looked down shyly.

Maura gave out a sharp laugh but it quickly turned to tears without hesitation Jane pulled Maura into her arms. "We'll get through this together." Jane said softly.

Maura nodded but didn't bother lifting her head away from the other woman's chest.

Jane tried to sooth Maura but she soon found herself crying as well. After what felt like several hours of crying both of them had calmed enough to fall into a deep slumber still holding tightly onto each other.

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**Because like many of My fellow Rizzles fans I don't think that Jane's (or Maura's honestly) reaction to everything was quite right. (not that I didn't enjoy the ending) anyway this is only supposed to be a one shot (because I have another fic I'm trying to focus on) but I might expand it later depending on what people think. Thank you for reading. please Review Love and Hugs R. W. **


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